Sunday, September 7, 2014
The Final Word ... Angela's Blog Postscript
Andy took over 12 hours of footage which he has managed to cut down to 30 minutes! He says 'we' edited it but I had very little input....he managed to delete almost all of day 2 and he says there was never any footage of our 'tiff'. So for those of you not the slightest bit interested in cars, roads, bridges or tunnels here is a synopsis of the holiday according to Angela!...Andy Beach's European Driving bootcamp...
....in no particular order...hotels: ranging from fantastic 5 star with concierges who parked the car and carried all of our luggage to the room with delicious food to basic but clean and comfy
...weather: we had cold but fresh and sunny, torrential rain and thunder storms through overcast but warm to bright hot sunshine
...clothing ranged from uggs, jeans, jumper, winter coat and scarf through to maxi dresses and flip flops (I did have to do an on the move change, as I was driving, to take my layers and uggs off and drove for a while in my bra)
...my face looks like it's been roasted for a couple of hours on gas 7/200/180 fan and the rest of me remains white!
..the 'tiff' went like this, Andy shouted at Angela so she skidded to a spectacular halt in a layby, got out of the car and told him he could "fstarking drive"
...inspector gadget as he is now known has been torturing me with unnecessary electronic devices that fstarking beep all day long, forget Chinese water torture there is now Beach Beep Torture!!!
...we have had a lovely adventure and have had some great experiences, definitely recommend it but it's not for the faint hearted (I am typing this on the iPad whilst Andy is driving at 215kph/135mph!!! on the autobahn to see how fast the car will go!), the different countries, languages and food (not to mention service stations) has been interesting and the scenery fantastic...
....we didn't have time to do any shopping (even though he teasingly drove past the Gucci, Valentino and arpels and Van Cleef shops 4 times in Monaco and seemed not to hear my protestations to buy me something shiney! - I bet that didn't get to final edit either!)
...the trip was exhausting but an exhilarating challenge and my admiration for Ewan mcgreggor and Charlie boorman and the top gear team reached a whole new level! In my mind I likened andy and myself to the cool, handsome and daring Ewan and Charlie but when the videos were played back we bore more than a likeness to The Two Fat Ladies!...
...I am, of course, my whitty, debonaire self and thank my straight man for feeding me so much material to take the piss out of him, my favourite being:
Angela: "what are you TRYING to do?"
Andy: "I really don't know how to do this selfie thing"
Angela: "it's easy, just point the [phone] camera at yourself and take a picture"
Andy: "but I want the arc de triomphe in the background"
Angela: "but it's not there!!!!!!!...sighs and shakes head (and confiscates phone)
..the Nurburgring, I'm at a loss for words!...you would need a chainsaw to cut thought the testosterone in the air!...it has reinforced my opinion that all men are mad and some of them are fstarking mental/crazy/insane...there we were having a nice little pootle around the track, taking in the scenery, planning where to set up our picnic and 50 million lunatics come racing past us at 4 million mph (I mean 6 million kph!)...forget all the rules you're told in the briefing someone forgot to tell these boys that they can't overtake us by flying over the top of our car on a blind double left hand apex hairpin carousel thingy!...I don't think I've ever said this before but I was too scared to drive! I shall not be taking up a career in racing, I'll settle for motoGP in the comfort of an armchair, that's how exciting I want to get!
We loved the trip and will do another one.....next time I'll be in charge of the publications!
...hmmmm...wonder what he's planning next :)